There is nothing
on this earth harder for us to deal with than the death of a loved one. Losing
family members is the worst among human experiences, and these losses stay with
us a lifetime—some of the holes left in our hearts will never be filled. Having
a best friend die can rock your world. It’s really hard to lose pets, too. What
all these losses have in common of course, is love. We love others, and in so
doing, we make ourselves hostages to their fortunes. We risk great emotional
pain when we risk our hearts. We know that every living creature will die; we
will die. We know this and yet the reality of death always hits us hard. We are
never truly ready for that kind of heartache.
But how could we
do anything else but love, and therefore, mourn when our loved ones die? A life
devoid of attachments, of friendships, of family, even of pets—such a life is
barely worth living, is it? You may protect yourself from pain by living in a
bubble, but you also deny yourself joy, and that soul deep heavenly manna of
loving, and being loved.
We were created
to love. We were created to feel. We were never meant to live our lives in
isolation, apart, lonely and alone. We were created to live with others, to
connect with others. When you meet that one person who reaches you, touches you,
and who you believe you’re meant to spend the rest your life
with—a miracle happens. Two people unite their hearts and minds and
souls, and become so much more than just two individual human beings. The whole
they create truly is greater than the sum of their parts. Even just the two of
them, together, they become a family.
The family is the
basis of our societal structure for a reason. Any kind of human creation be it
physical or otherwise, needs a strong, unshakable base. That, in essence, is
what the family is to society. It is the base, it is the foundation, and yes, it
is also the beneficiary of the society and the institutions it
braces.
We create our
institutions to serve us—to serve people, and most usually, people living in
families.
No matter how
many times you suffer the loss of those you love—be they family or friends or
yes, even pets, it never gets easier. And I think it really shouldn’t get
easier. People should matter to us, relationships should matter to us, not only
in the day to day of living—their passing should matter to us, too. But it still
hurts. The pain of loss cuts deeper than any other emotional pain we can
suffer.
Knowing this, we
could avoid that pain. We could choose to live a more sterile existence. We
could keep our walls high, and some people do just that. They close themselves
off from making new friends, or even from forming closer attachments to their
family members so they can’t be hurt so badly when they die.
I know a lot of
people who refuse to have pets for the simple reason that pets die. I understand
that choice, but it makes me sad. You deny yourself the unconditional love a dog
will give you when you don’t allow yourself to have one. You deny yourself hours
of contentment you receive from cradling a purring cat, when you refuse to have
one, just to avoid the pain of losing it.
That is, as I
said, one choice you could make on how to live. But there’s another, and in my
mind, better way to live.
You could say to
hell with being cautious. You can choose to live a full life, rich with
experiences and love, rich with every emotion under the sun. Laugh with your
whole body; cry when your heart breaks; celebrate when you win some of life’s
battles. Breathe deeply, savor the flavors, live your life as if every single
day is the most precious gift you will ever receive.
Because, guess
what? It is.
Seize the day.
There will be tragedy, but also triumph. There will be sadness, but also great
joy. And really, experiencing the former allows you to recognize and cherish the
latter. Sadness and tragedy make joy and triumph all that much
sweeter.
Life is for
living and laughing and loving. Work hard. Do what’s right. Live with no
regrets.
Love,
Morgan
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