Of all the
things we look for to enhance our lives, we humans, the one that seems to be the
object of the most energy, time and money is happiness. Historically we are so
desirous of that quality, that it was mentioned prominently in one of the
greatest documents of all time—the U. S. Declaration of Independence.
Television
commercials are rife with suggestions of all that you need to purchase in order
to become happy. Books have been written on the topic, movies have been made,
and entire courses of study have been crafted and taught in our colleges in our
efforts to define and condense a definition of happiness and how best to go
about achieving it.
Everyone has an
opinion about this subject and it should come as a surprise to anyone that I do,
too.
First—in my
humble opinion—I think we are confusing two words: happiness and contentment. We
think “happiness” and the images that come to mind are smiles, laughter, a
feeling of euphoria enveloping us, making us feel lighter than air so that we
are always up, always jolly...um, no.
If that is how
you are and how you feel, you may have accidentally ingested some whacky gas.
You need to go see a doctor. Asap.
I believe the
definition of happiness that we want is the one that means contentment. We want
to know that we matter. We want to know that the work we do is appreciated. We
want to love and be loved. We want to be able to work and earn enough money to
meet all of our essential needs, and some of our non-essential “wants”. We want
to feel good about getting up each day, because we have a plan for the future.
We want to know that we are someone going somewhere. We want to have moments in
the day when we sit back and say, “ahh.”
How do we
manage to do—to become—all of this?
I really do
believe it begins with a decision. How we look at ourselves, our friends and
family, our environment—this outlook plays a large role. And how we perceive
ourselves, and everyone and everything else is a deliberate choice. Do we
like ourselves? My friends, we really need to do that. We are the only us we
have. We have to live our entire lives with ourselves. So we might as well like
ourselves. We can decide to like our work, too—and if we absolutely cannot, then
we need to find work that we can like.
It doesn’t
happen overnight. We can start by appreciating the small things. The laughter of
a child. The beauty of a flower. Does your grocery store sell flowers? Mine
does. Sometimes I buy them, but I always stop to look at them, for a moment.
What about the smell of fresh bread coming from the store’s bakery? Or the scent
of a really good burger from your local burger joint?
Did you know
that every day comes complete with one free sunrise and one free sunset—yours to
enjoy at no extra charge? You can do things for others that cost nothing. Open a
door, give a smile, say “thank you”.
These are
little things, but knitted together become so much more than the sum of their
parts. If you want to feel good about yourself, then feel good about yourself.
You are alive. You have challenges? Name me one person who doesn’t. We all have
challenges, except those poor souls already interred beneath the
grass.
I believe that
finding a sense of happiness, of contentment, is vital to our psyches. I believe
that we can control that feeling, by choosing it. And I believe with everything
that is in me that once we do, once we start that first bit of deliberately
choosing to be happy, then the feeling begins to mushroom and grow within
us.
It’s like
emotional dominoes. Once you get the first one moving, the rest cannot
help but fall.
Love,
Morgan
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