I hope the dads
among us all had a happy Father’s Day on Sunday. Too often in our society,
fathers, just as much as mothers, are under appreciated.
We expect a lot
from fathers. Some of these expectations hark back to the days when a woman
married a man based on his ability to provide basic needs and protection for her
and the children she would bear him. In those days the man was the undisputed
king of his home, not just by tradition, but by law. As much as we woman chafe
at that concept in today’s modern times, historically speaking, it really was
the way society was organized to provide for the survival of the
species.
In today’s
world, we haven’t lost all of those old expectations, no matter what we would
like to believe. In fact, not only have we kept several of those prerequisites
as a society, we’ve added new ones, too, because what is “expected” has changed
over time. The combination of the two, in my opinion, make the job of being a
father a lot more difficult than it ever used to be.
Even in this
enlightened age, we still mostly expect fathers to be the main breadwinners of
the family. Women work outside the home, of course they do. They are equal
home-owners and decision makers by today’s standards. Yet still, women consider
the question, when they become mothers, of whether to go back to work after the
maternity leave has ended, or to give up the job and be a stay at home mom, at
least until the children go to school. There’s no right answer to that question,
as women are individuals with individual aspirations. But we women all do think
over which option is best for us.
By and large,
the fathers aren’t given that choice at all. They are expected to
continue to work, no matter what.
We expect
fathers to protect our children from harm, even though that expectation, in
today’s world, isn’t always realistic. Neither are fathers allowed the same
tools they once had to ensure the safety of their families. There are no more
castles, or moats; fathers may no longer lock their children in their rooms to
keep the dangerous elements of society away from them. In an age when children
are seeking and being granted rights that quite frankly they are sometimes far
too young to truly understand, we have made the father’s job of
protecting his family very difficult.
And
yet despite all these things, today’s father has adapted. You don’t see fathers
with picket signs bemoaning how hard it is to do what we ask of them. You see
them, instead, coaching baseball and soccer for their sons and their
daughters. You see them driving kids to games and lessons, playing at the park
with their children, sitting at the kitchen table helping their kids with math,
or science projects. You see today’s fathers being an integral part of their
children’s lives.
Fathers take an
active interest in their children’s educations, teach them how to drive, fix
broken toys and sometimes, do their best to patch up broken dreams. Fathers are
there in the night when the bogey man is near, and they lend a solid shoulder to
cry on when the tough stuff of life hits.
They never stop
being fathers, either. When their children are grown and have children of their
own, they are still there, with advice and a hug, stalwart in their
role.
Mothers are
good at nurturing in a gentle way. Fathers are good at setting the limits, and
loving you even when you overstep those bounds.
So fathers,
here’s to you, and the countless selfless acts you perform for you families,
doing what you do because it’s the right thing to do—and not ever once
considering doing it any other way.
You’ll say
that’s nothing special. But the rest if us know, that’s what being a hero is all
about.
Love,
Morgan
No comments:
Post a Comment