Sometimes, I have trouble with
the concept of keeping the main thing, the main thing. The everyday living of
life can be overwhelming at times, with some occurrences taking on more
importance than they need to. This is especially true, at least for me, when
things don’t do the way I hope they will—or maybe the way I count on them to go.
Let’s face it. Crap happens in life to all of us. Sometimes dealing with that
crap can be a challenge. I mean, who can think when unexpected glitches
arise?
Do you ever listen to Ted
Talks? Have you heard about them? These are a series of “talks” or
mini-lectures, most of them under twenty minutes long, by experts in varying
fields. Arts, sciences, religions, social issues—there are more than a thousand
“talks” and they can all be found here, for free: TED: Ideas worth
spreading
This past weekend I listened to
one given by a neuroscientist entitled, “How to stay calm when you know you’ll
be stressed.” It turns out there’s a medical reason why I can’t keep the
main thing the main thing when I’m having one of those days. It’s a chemical
called cortisol, it gets released by your brain into your body when you’re
stressed, and one of the things it does is to cloud your thinking. You
chemically can’t be logical and concise in your thoughts with that stuff
floating around free inside you.
The scientist’s suggested
solution to the situation was to conduct a “pre-mortem” for any upcoming special
event—that is, to sit down and try to think of all the possible things that
could go wrong in the upcoming situation, things that if they occurred would
stress you out. Then, he said, think of a solution for each possible problem. He
reasoned that you could think clearly ahead of time when not under stress, and
then if one of those situations did arise, you’d not be hampered my muzzy
thinking. You’d know what to do. In my thirties or forties, I might have rolled
my eyes, hearing this suggestion. Now I’m sixty-one, and I’m thinking that his
idea has merit.
I can totally see myself doing
this. I already have an edge on anyone else who might have heard this talk at
the same time I did and decided to incorporate the good doctor’s advice. I
already make an extensive clothing list when I’m going on a trip!
As I’ve explained in a few past
essays, I make a list of the days I’ll be at an event, list the activities I’ll
be participating in, and then assign an outfit for each day. Sometimes I might
have two activities on a single day, and there might be a wardrobe change
required. I’ve even, in the past, after finalizing my list of outfits, gone
ahead and picked out my accessories, put them in individual baggies, and
assigned them a number or two, so I would know which outfit or two they’d
match.
It would appear I was already
doing that whole “pre-mortem” thing with regard to my clothes without knowing
that was what I was doing. So I suppose that taking the process to the next
level – making a list of all the things that could go wrong on a trip, or in the
event of some other special occasion like throwing a dinner party, or attending
a special function, and then coming up with a solution to each problem is a
great idea.
There are actually only two
potential problems I can see with this system, and likely both of them are
connected to the fact I’m not as young as I used to be. The first is, will I
remember, in the moment of crisis, that I had done the exercise and come up with
a list of well thought out, and logical solutions to the unexpected
problem?
And the second is much more to
the point: if I do, will I be able to recall exactly where that list might
be?
Love,
Morgan
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