Hands are really
pretty handy, aren't they?
That's a basic
truth that I've had brought home to me anew this past week, as I recover from
having carpel tunnel surgery on my right hand last Tuesday.
I am, by the
way, right handed.
I find it a
delicious bit of irony that the doctor told me that I must not do much with my
hand at all until I get the stitches out (later today). I'm allowed to
wiggle my fingers—almost identical to the way I move them when I am using a key
board—and after the second day, I was able to drive—but that's about
it.
You'd think I
would rejoice being told I could write, but do nothing else. Guess I'm just
never happy no matter what.
I cannot get my
stitches wet, and I cannot lift anything or put any pressure whatsoever on my
right hand. I have to sleep with it elevated on a pillow, and I must avoid
letting my hand hang down.
Fortunately, our
second daughter is a nurse, and she has been kind enough to come by and change
the dressing for me. When she has my stitches uncovered, she makes all kinds of
"hmmm" sounds.
I'm not sure if
there's a problem or she's just taking the opportunity to tease me. I am a
notoriously easy mark, and my family, to a one—even the ones we've
acquired—merciless teases.
The worst part
of this entire situation isn't the pain. It's the forced
inactivity.
Friends, it has
truly been sheer hell for me, not being able to do anything. I'm such a
creature of habit. I have my little routines—my boundaries—and I am happiest
when I am plodding away within them.
Every morning I
get up, turn on my computer, put the dishes in to soak, and scan my house making
mental note of what jobs have to be done. I check my e-mail, then move on to my
work in progress, and every thirty minutes or so get up and do other things. I
call it multi-tasking.
This is the
first time that I've been "laid up", yet basically felt well enough to not be.
The last time I was forced by medical circumstances to be idle was as a result
of my triple by-pass surgery, 10 years ago. Back then I felt sick, and being
inactive didn't cause me stress.
I told my
daughter a few days ago that my house was so "out of order" that it felt as if
my skin was crawling. Her response was the same as her father's had been. She
took a moment, looked around, and declared that everything "looked
fine".
I have made a
note to see to it they both get their eyes tested at the earliest
opportunity.
Having just come
home from California a week ago this past Sunday—and leaving for Texas this
coming Sunday—I suppose one could say I didn't exactly plan the timing of this
procedure very well.
My beloved
pointed out that there likely would never have been a perfect time for me
to be "out of commission". I suppose he's right. I tend to be a bit of a
perfectionist. And I really am used to being busy all day
long.
When I hit my
bed at night, I'm usually completely exhausted.
I can't even
really write for too long at a time in one go. I keep having to stop and rest my
hand.
I know a few
people who basically do nothing all day, every day. They sit and read, or watch
television. They live in what I call Chaos, and don't seem to mind it one
bit.
How does anyone
do that? The inactivity, the inability to tidy and cook and clean, is driving me
crazy and believe me, it's a short trip.
My beloved, in
the mean time, has had to pitch in. He's had to do the dishes every day, vacuum,
and tidy where I cannot. By Sunday I was able to fold the laundry but I couldn't
really hang anything up or put it all away.
He knows how bad
I feel that he's had to do "my job"—suffice it to say that we're both of an age
that he isn't used to doing any housework at all. And I suppose it's not all
negative, this situation I find myself in.
Mr. Ashbury has
a newly refreshed appreciation for how much I actually do around the house. Or,
as he so eloquently put it, "your life sucks".
I know he means
that in a kind, and loving way.
Love,
The only dream I've ever had was to be a published author. It was a dream formed in childhood, and held on to through the business of growing up. Life intruded, as life does, and my dream was put on hold. But now, through hard work, faith, and luck dream has evolved into reality.
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